Current mood:	crushed
Current music:	U Shine On - Matt Darey, Ministry of Sound Annual 2003 UK

Exhausted
Work has been tiring, to say the least. I'm quitting and the end of July and I'll have a decent amount of money in my account to go to college with. I really love all the people I work with. I really enjoy talking with them and sometimes I'd rather go hang out with them then I would with some certain other people. That was the main reason I've decided to stay as long as I have, because I really like who I'm with, and I really didn't want to leave them without a server for the third shift. I'm too nice. I should just get out of there and do what's best for me but I'm always putting other people first, even if I've only known them for a month.
Went over to Archer's because I thought I would be hanging out with friends last night. I should have gone and played poker instead. We sat watching movie we've all seen multiple times and no one seemed to want to have any conversation at all. Didn't really want to be there, wasn't really wanted there as Matt made very clear as I walked in the door. I like the change of friends that I've made. I realized how tired I really was of the normal people I was constantly hanging out with and when I thought I really missed them when I hung out with them again I realized that yet again I didn't want to be there. The night in Cole's apartment as I watched them all get drunk and just sat around doing nothing was definitely the best time I've had in a while. Hopefully everyone caught the sarcasm in that. I had bought everyone some pizza and sat the rest of the night in a dejected depression. I admit I wasn't a whole lot of fun. I wanted to be with friends but I didn't want to be there at the same time. Kind of strange.

I have a sort of a crush on this girl at work. I don't know if she's single or not and part of me wants to go out with her but the other part of me keeps hitting myself because there's only two months left and there really would be no point to it.

OH! I completely forgot. Caitlin turned out to be a real backstabber. Turns out my dream was a bit misinterpreted Liz. I tell her that I really thought we might be able to work things out if she would just call me a bit more often and especially once her play was over with. She told me flat out just NO! and then proceeds to confess that as we were going out she was constantly flirting with all the guys at her play rehearsals. I actually cried for the first time in a long time. She had told me she liked me, she said she had liked me for a very long time, and then we start going out. Oh wait, we go on one date, and then she never calls me because she can't seem to decide between a great steady guy or some other kids at a play rehearsal. I got completely shattered again.

Part of me has been starting to wonder whether anyone really wants to have me around anymore. The way the people treat me at work is so much different than the way my other friends treat me. When I walk in the door they all smile at me, they say hello, they say they are happy to see me. I'm welcome there. People enjoy having me around there and they are polite to me. They don't snap at me and when I crack a joke people actually laugh. I'm getting some respect there and it's really neat having that again. I can respect someones right to watch a movie but when it's something we've all seen it doesn't seem someone would mind cracking a little joke here and there. but apparently I was wrong about that one, oh well. I think I'm just going to stick to poker and then when Liz comes back in town I'll have another friend again.

I really enjoyed Cole's little tribute about nice guys. So true, so true, so true.